Instead of One Night of Presents...

We are getting close to my favorite yearly holiday (besides Halloween, of course)…..Hanukkah!

As a fellow member of the tribe, Adam Sandler, so eloquently put it….”Pull out your harmonica, it’s time to celebrate Hanukkah!” It is literally eight wonderful nights and days of celebration (one of my favorite things about my Jewish heritage really is: "Instead of one night of presents, we have eight craaaazy nights!")! The brief history behind Hanukkah is that it’s the annual Jewish festival celebrated on eight successive days beginning on the 25th day of Kislev - the third month of the Jewish calendar - corresponding, approximately, to December in the Gregorian calendar. It is also known as the Festival of Lights, Feast of Dedication, and Feast of the Maccabees,

A lot of Jewish families (including my own) celebrate with a wide breath of tradition - from Bubbe’s Potato Pancakes (served with applesauce, sour cream, jam, or even just a nearby brisket!), noodle kugel, a nice glass of Manechevitz wine, and (hopefully) an heirloom menorah. It is indeed a festive occasion to be with loved ones and say thanks for all we have and all we have to give this coming year!

Happy Hanukkah everyone!

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Santas not allowed to say "Ho Ho Ho" this Christmas

You're kidding right? I was checking out the latest Google searches on Hot Trends and found that the 88th most popular search (as of 15 minutes ago) is "ho ho ho" sans the quotes. I clicked in and read a few news releases that some Santas are being asked not to say the famous holiday greeting this Christmas. It "could frighten children and could even be derogatory to women."

Excuse me while I pull myself back into my chair...I fell out from rolling my eyes too far back in my head. Whatever happened to being able dress up in a Santa Suit and run around spreading the holiday cheer? Okay, so at Easter, let's not decorate eggs either because it will offend chickens. While we're at it, no celebrating at all. Let's all be clones and speak in monotone voices.

Time for another latte...

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What I Am Thankful For This Thanksgiving...

I no longer have to sit at the kid table:

In my family, until you are 18 years old, you have to sit at the dreaded “kid table”. Usually seated between your brother (Billy – who receives much joy and delight from the constant torture he bestows upon the smaller children) and a whiney third cousin twice removed. Oh what fun it is to be in this uncomfortable spot. And then it happens: Billy breaks the ice by laughing so hard that mashed potatoes fly out of his nose (you knew he was good for something!). Whether it’s Billy’s starchy snot or the topsy turvy nature of the rickety card table (Seriously Aunt Agnes, in nearly two decades you couldn’t have upgraded – Do you recall how many times I had gone home with wet pants from “accidental milk spillage”?), Thanksgiving becomes a whir of Tryptophan-induced traditions. So on my first Fall Feast at the Adult Table, I found myself a bit sad as I watched those misfits in the kiddie corner creating quite a clatter – that is until I examined the scene further. I will never miss having candied yams smashed in my hair! Besides, Great Great Grandma Ertle has claimed fame on the whole mashed-potatoes-coming-out-of-her-nose thing at the Adult Table…so all is not lost.

Grocery Stores:

I am a bit OCD when it comes to planning the family feast at my house. The menu is put together, the invitations are sent, and the ingredients are purchased and placed carefully in the pantry. IT NEVER FAILS that I will forget something - be it poultry seasoning, crescent rolls or cream for the potatoes. Frazzled and rushed, I plead for my husband to pull himself away from the seemingly endless football game and head off to the early-closing grocery store. Armed with only a good sense of humor, he encounters the mass amount of other boyfriends/husbands/girlfriends/wives that are on the same mission. He looks right. He looks left. He ambles down the barren aisles (playing it cool), and there in the distance, he can see it: the last bunch of crescent rolls. The woman on the right looks determined. The young man on the left looks desperate. But they are no match for my former linebacker hubby – he’s a seasoned veteran in Thanksgiving Day grocery-getting. Blue 42, baby! Blue 42! I don’t know how he does it, but he always seems to get me the missing ingredient. Oftentimes returning a bit more disheveled than when he left - but full-well knowing that if I don’t get the requested Crescent Rolls upon his return, he will be eating his dinner at the “kid table”.

Black Friday:

No, no, kids! This isn’t just the day when retail stores perpetuate the “gathering of greed” (that is associated with the modern day “most wonderful time of year”) with ridiculously low priced items and free gifts with purchase – it is the day when sweet grandmas and twinkle-eyed new daddys come together and battle for the last Nintendo Wii! Finding a parking spot will be a pain, but the spectacle of mock holiday cheer is enough to entertain you for the afternoon (what else are you going to do when all of the relatives are crammed into one house?). “No you take it. After all, this is more than likely the first holiday that you plan to be sober!” Followed up by, “No I insist you give this to your grandson – if he looks like you, he probably doesn’t have a lot of friends to play with as it is.” Thank goodness for mid-mall snack bars – This bitter banter becomes “Dinner and a show”!

My monster (I mean, Mother)-in-law found happiness in a far away state:

In all seriousness, I am completely grateful for my family. We still all gather together on the holidays and try to keep the traditions alive that I have known my entire life. From Grandma Ertle to my big brother Bill, each person brings a sense of comfort and warmth to our family table. From our home to yours: We wish you the Happiest Thanksgiving!

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